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Essay

Chop, chop--busy!

Chop Chop!

Chop chop!

I have a fast-paced tech career in the mobile advertising industry. I write massive amounts of code and construct mobile ads for many top brands.

In addition to my ad agency day job, I run several entrepreneurial ventures. One of my moonlighting duties is running a successful health, wellness and nutrition site with my college buddies, and another is developing a highly popular social network and entertainment destination for fathers.

During the day, I work. At night, I work. And at all times of the day, I parent.

I’m a father to a wonderful seven-year-old son with Autism and ADHD. He needs to be shuttled to and from school, playdate appearances, and countless therapy sessions. He requires help with his homework. He asks for my support for basic and intermediate executive functioning skills. He wants me to teach him how to code so he can grow up to be a game developer. He needs

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Moments

The Worst Day of Her Life

The Worst Day of Her Life

“This is the worst day of my entire life,” my daughter sobs. Her eyes are red and tears are dripping down her cheeks.

Today someone adopted the last puppy we have been fostering for the animal shelter. Today the big beautiful tree that shaded our front yard was taken down. My daughter mourned the birds’ nests

Zombie Grandma

Photo by ankakay (https://www.flickr.com/photos/ankakay/)

 

It was the best of times, it was the worst of times. It was a time (second grade) when kids like to talk about death. A lot. My son, whose school that teaches a peace curriculum, enjoys pretending to spray friends with machine-gun fire. He grabs imaginary arrows from the quiver on his back and

Let’s Play Babies!

Let's Play Babies!

Ava: “Mommy, want to play babies? You and Jack are the babies and I’m the Mommy?”

Me: “Yes, please!”

Ava: “Okay babies, time to clean up the Barbies. Mommy didn’t make this mess!”

Photo credit: Some rights reserved by Mads Boedker

Century Old Mama

year in review clock

One of the weirder mom quotes: We were reading a story when out of the blue my six year old asked me, “Mommy have you lived for a century?”

I replied “No, that’s 100 years.” “Are you sure?” he said. “Yep, I’m sure butterbean.” (Though sometimes it feels like it.)

Tot Etiquette

Cute very young little boy or maybe a girl with curly hair attem

In the early years we spend plenty of time and energy teaching manners and etiquette to our little squirts.

Wash your hands–but sing the entire alphabet while doing so. What is this message we send? Don’t you ever wonder what our kids think of these signals we send? And why is it that “we” don’t sing

Yes, I’m Not Ashamed to Admit It

doughnuts

I was standing at the kitchen counter with a glass of red wine in one hand and a Krispy Kreme doughnut with Key Lime filling in the other. My husband was laughing at me. I didn’t care.

I started a new job that was full-time in the office instead of part-time at home. I was working really

Best Moment of the Year

mom and daughter

After successfully completing another big conference for moms, MomCom–this one national (whoot whoot!)–this mom finally got some free time to unwind and reconnect with her patient daughter. This is how the moment went:

My daughter as she’s putting her feet between my legs while we’re reading in bed: I’m not cold. I just haven’t seen you

I’ll Never Call Them Flip Flops Again

flip flops

My daughter was looking for some other shoes when it was warm out. I told her she could look in her closet for flip flops. “What are those?” she said. I described them. “Oh, vagina shoes,” she said.

Because, of course.

Photo by: Rudolf Vlček

Fiction from a Four Year Old

it all makes sense

My four year old eagerly absorbs myths and stories, and all of them hold equal weight. The other night she created a fiction mix that combined all the recent tales she’s taken in. It went like this:

The wicked witch took Dorothy’s dog Toto away and then the big storm came and she

Give Them the Holiday Bird

Baby's Holiday Bird

A few years ago we had an interesting experience at a major chain portrait studio where we took our first holiday pictures as a family. The photographer made a grammatical error on our holiday cards, but the biggest surprise came when we were looking at the pictures. The only picture of my

Losing My Mind

coffee

I was at Starbucks treating myself to a Latte. I managed to order above the chatter of my pack of children, then I made a fatal mistake: I added a newspaper. After getting my credit card back, I gathered the gang and walked out of the store with the paper under my

Love Makes Us Rich

Those-Who-Are-Rich-In-Love-Are-The-Richest-Of-All

 

Me: I feel really happy right now. I just wanted to tell you that.
Six-year-old son: Why are you so happy?
Me: Well, we have a safe and beautiful home, reliable cars, enough to eat and all the love we can handle. I feel like the richest woman in the world.
Son: Love is what

Who dunnit?

Dental Health Toothpaste

This morning after finally getting all three kiddos off to school, I lumbered into the bathroom to take out my contacts. I unscrewed the left-side lid, popped out the lens and put the lid back on. Next I unscrewed the right-side lid. Instead of a bath of sterile solution, I discovered that

Apples to Apples

two boys playing card game

Once upon a time, when we still needed babysitters, my niece offered to watch the kids while we went out with my brother and sister-in-law. Her only payment was that the kids had to play the card game of comparisons “Apples to Apples” with her. No problem. The kids were more than

Sweet Talk

girl with candy

I recently realized that I had been bribing my four year old a bit too much with goodies. In response to my, “I’m so proud of you,” this is what she had to say: “There’s no use in being proud. Just give me a treat.”

Definitely Not Cut from the Same Cloth

twin girls

People sometimes mix up my twin girls because they look alike. But once you get to know them, you’ll never confuse them again. For example:

Twin A is in bed snuggling with me. “You’re the greatest girl,” she tells me out of the blue. “No, you’re the greatest girl,” I say. “No, you

Bad Influence

mess

My son came back from a playdate at a new friend’s house. “Their house is SO much cleaner than ours,” he said.

I told him not to see that friend again; that family’s a bad influence.

Where’s That Baby?

boy looking upl

While talking with a pregnant friend, I explained to my two-and-a-half-year-old son that Aunt Cricket has a baby boy in her tummy. He knelt down and tried to look up her dress to see him.

The Brady Bunch

mother and son in bed

Most night my son asks me to tell him a story before bed. A NEW one each time. Getting desperate, last night I told him the entire Hawaiian Brady Bunch episode–complete with talisman necklace, ancient burial grounds, hairy spider and Mr. Hanalai–and passed it off as my own.

Would You Like a Rodent With That?

iStock_000008480103XSmall

The other day at dinner, I asked my seven-year-old son if he had thought about what he wanted to do for his next birthday. His eyes grew wide and then he said, “I know! I’ll have a Rodent Dr. Pepper party!”

When I asked what this could possibly mean, he explained that the kids who were allowed to have it could drink Dr. Pepper. We would also buy enough rodents so that each party guest could go home with one. When I asked whether the rodents would be allowed to drink Dr. Pepper, my son gave me an incredulous look. Because, you know, what a silly question.

A native Austinite and soccer-playing mom, Nicole Basham uses her seven-year-old son as an excuse to rediscover her hometown. In Thoreau’s words, her mission is to “suck out all the marrow of life,” or in her son’s words, to cultivate in him a love of “advenchers”.