Don’t Judge Me, I’m a Mom

photo submitted by youbabyandi author

Moms are judged too frequently.

I had an incident with my daughter not too long ago at a lodge we visited for a weekend. It was 8 PM at night and we were at dinner shortly after we arrived. She normally sleeps at 8, so she was tired and grumpy.

At this point, I’m starving and so is my husband. I quickly get my food and start gobbling. She cries. I try to calm her down, but she is persistent in her desire to leave. She starts screaming. EVERYONE stares. (This place had mostly couples.) A few remain staring.

I look around and then hide myself with shame even though I did nothing wrong. My husband takes her while I eat. I hear whispers around me. I’m a breastfeeding mom who needs to eat throughout the day. If I don’t, I get weak. If I don’t eat, my daughter doesn’t get milk.

Do they know that? No, but they are judging me already.

If a mom has a big tummy postpartum, she’s judged: “She hasn’t lost the baby weight yet.” Really? That’s what you see first? How about the cute little baby she pushed out of her vagina a couple of days ago? Why don’t you ask her how’s breastfeeding’s going? OR notice that she’s trying to work while having sleepless nights and a colicky baby.

We sometimes forget how difficult it can be for a mom.

To the first time mom who has no idea why her baby can’t stop crying, remember: YOU can ask for help.
To the mom who doesn’t comb her hair every morning and has a shower at 4 PM in the afternoon: I salute you!
To the single mom trying to raise two kids on her own: remember, you’re a Supermom.

There is no such thing as the perfect mother. We all make mistakes and learn from them. But there is one thing we can all do to help a mom: don’t judge.

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Comments (4)

  1. Jennifer

    Amen! It irks me when others condemn moms of cranky kids with stares instead of support. I’ve been there and know how hard it is just to process a coherent thought after a sleepless night of rocking and crying (mostly mine).
    Keep up the great work! You are a super mom.

    • Shaney Vijendranath

      Thank you so much! I appreciate your feedback.

  2. Erin Fangboner

    People are so quikck to judge! Great piece!

    • Shaney Vijendranath

      Thank you, yes I still get it all the time and it’s so sad. 🙁