Does This Kid Make My Butt Look Big?

Photo: Flickr CC: Krystian Olszanski

Tushies come in all shapes and sizes.

There are songs and dance moves about the beloved behind. I even remember booty dancing to Sir Mix-a-Lot’s song, “I like big butts and I cannot lie!” What’s so shocking about the beloved booty?

My son and I were on a productive adventure at Costco, his favorite store. As we trucked along down one of the aisles he said, “Mommy! Look, behind you!” So naturally I turned around to look.

I saw nothing out of the ordinary.

Then he asked an extraordinary question: “Mommy, why is her tushie so big?”

Of course he was not quiet and she heard him. I realized we had just entered the “crazy-things-kids-say” phase, also know as the “why and how” period of his toddler life.

I saw her stare at me and I knew her stare was just so she could hear what I was going to say to my kid. I could have ventured down a few different avenues. Taking a moment to collect myself, I thought about how I should handle the situation.

I could have:

a. Left my cart and ran out of the store.

b. Scolded him for being rude.

c. Laughed it off.

d. Apologized to her for his actions.

e. Had Little Dude apologize to her for his actions.

f. Ignored the whole thing and pretended it never happened.

g. Chalked it up to the crazy things kids say.

Or, I could just discuss the tushie with my curious toddler. That’s what I did.

As we strolled down the aisles of Costco, we walked and talked.

I told him tushies come in all shapes and sizes. Some tushies have more padding then others; some are tight, and some are fluffy. Some are small, some are big, and they all just hang out on the backside. I was pretty pleased with my answer.

But he just glared at me.

He said, “But how come some are big, round, and lumpy, and Mommy, yours isn’t…?” At this point the lyrics from Sir Mix-a-Lot’s song were ringing through my ears and I knew I had to come up with something good or he was going to keep asking “why” or “how” questions.

I told him that tushies are decorations on our bodies. I tossed in my healthy choices talk, which he didn’t care about, but I kept going. I said, “We only get one body and it’s up to us to take care of it and make good choices. And good choices could be anything from eating healthy foods, to exercising, to getting enough sleep, to booty dancing, and it’s up to us to take care of our bodies.”

Then he said, “well maybe we could tell her to go see Doc McStuffin so she could fix her lumpy padding.” Okay… I had nothing to say to that one.

I could tell it didn’t matter what I said in that moment. I needed to let this one go and chalk it up to as one of the funny/embarrassing things kids say.

Little Dude and I looked at each other and shared a good laugh while we finished our shopping adventure.

Sarah Honey is the author of the lifestyle blog Thank You Honey, where she writes about her adventures in Mommyhood and everything in between. 

Photo: Krystian Olszanski

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Comments (16)

  1. Jenn

    Is there nothing that Doc McStuffin cannot fix? Little Dude is one funny guy.

  2. Jill

    I LOVE this SO MUCH because I can identify with it, having kids in the “say anything” phase of life. My two have so far not commented on anyone’s butts but they have asked a few people why their bellies are big, like Santa. That’s always super fun.

  3. thekitchwitch

    Hoo-boy! Hey, at least you tried to explain it, right! He sounds like a funny kid.

  4. barbara

    it’s hard to know how to answer these things. wow. good job trying.

  5. Tara

    that’s hysterical! how awkward in the moment for you though, but look at the great story you have now 🙂

  6. Chris Carter

    Oh this is too funny!! The things kids say!! And isn’t it just always the case, that people are right there listening. Sigh…

    Did that woman just walk away or did she hear your explanation?

    Your explanation was awesome!

  7. Kate

    Ha, go see Doc McStuffins… my daughter told me last week I had a case of the Dusty-Musties! Kids say the earnest things.

  8. Kristi Campbell

    LOL to Doc McStuffin fixing the lumpy tush! Aw boys! HAHA!

  9. Sinea

    Is this cute or what! As Art Linkletter used to say “Kids say the darnedest things!”