At first they just hid their Halloween loot, ostensibly in a place I wouldn’t find it. Those poor, sweet, delusional children of mine.
Then they resorted to taking an inventory and making a detailed list noting each piece of candy — down to the very last, awful, ugly Mary Jane. (As if I’d stoop to steal, much less ingest, one of those. Jeez, kids, give me SOME credit.)
Eventually they landed on a winning solution to keep me from snagging their sweets. Those savvy, sweet, resourceful children of mine…
One Sweet Plan
“Trick or treat!” my kids both yell
as they approach a door.
And when it opens, they recite
A speech not heard before:
“Trick or treat! Smell my feet!
Give me something good to eat!
We’ll take your Peanut M&Ms,
your Reese’s Pieces, too –
your Snickers and your Almond Joys,
and Baby Ruths will do.
Bring on the Butterfingers!
Milk Duds? Those are fine.
But at Milky Ways, Three Musketeers
and Twix, we draw the line.
Zagnuts, Jolly Ranchers –
Add ‘em to our haul!
Bit O’ Honeys, Tootsie Rolls,
Mounds, we’ll take them all!”
Finished with their list,
my kids just stood there–quiet —
their donor no doubt wondering
about their candy diet.
But I knew why they did it,
this strategic trick-or-treating:
the treats they listed at each door
were those I hated eating.
©2013 Carlotta Eike Stankiewicz
Carlotta Eike Stankiewicz is an Austin-based advertising creative director and single mom of two mostly well-behaved teen girls. Read her humorous verse about parenting at Well Versed Mom. Twitter: @wellversedmom Instagram/Vine: @lottapalooza