10 Things Never to Say to Your Pregnant Wife

Tatiana Vdb

I’ve been there, done that, and now can share: Ten things you should never say to your pregnant wife.

1. Well yes, you are putting on weight! But to be fair to you, you haven’t trained in ages and have eaten whatever you wanted for six months. Given all that, you look okay.
2. While watching “One Born Every Minute”: “Oh my god, the stretch marks on that woman are horrendous. No amount of cream is getting rid of them!”
3. When the baby comes, it’ll be okay if I sleep in the spare room, so you can breastfeed and I can get some sleep, right?
4. When the baby comes, I’ll still be okay to go out a few nights a week with my friends, right?

5. Actually, now you mention it, I have noticed a few hormonal changes in you.

6. You don’t look pregnant in that dress, just a bit overweight, which is a good thing because the bump is so small.

7. Are we still on for five children?

8. You’re such a tough woman, I reckon you could give birth in the morning and be back to work by the afternoon.

9. I don’t want your breasts to sag after having all these kids.

10. Landmark pregnancy milestone reached. Those are officially cankles. Do you mind if I tweet them?

To be honest, theses were all said tongue in cheek, and they were taken in jest (well, most of them). I’m always given a wide berth with the stupid things I say. Most of the time they manage to raise a wry smile.

Ahmed E. recently found out that he’s going to be a dad for the first time! He says, “It’s an extremely exciting time for my wife and I as we begin our journey on becoming parents. As so much is happening and due to happen, I had a strange notion to start a blog. I’m still not sure where poorly conceived idea came from or how it will turn out, but do hope you enjoy the trials and tribulations of being a ‘First Time Dad.’”

Photo: Tatiana Vdb

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