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Category: baby in a...

Je suis l’Artiste!

A Moment in Dreams

Photo: Lovelorm Poets

“Is she asleep?” I ask. My husband nods. Though I’m with our daughter all day, my husband always handles one part on his own: Bedtime.

He comes home late from work and he has less than an hour to spend with our little one. He gives her milk, rocks her in the chair, and carries her

Bubble Boy

Happy New Year, Y’all!

New year child picture

Not So Much with the Easter Bunny

Easter Bunny Fear

Sleep Deprived/Sleep Depriver

Chocolate or Poop?

As I sat in front of the TV eating chocolate chips, one fell and I couldn’t find it. I figured my dog would find it, so no need to search. When I repositioned my son (who was sleeping on my lap), this is what I saw. My first reaction was: “How the EFF did he

Digital Pictures: The Scourge of Modern Parenthood

Do you also feel overwhelmed by digital pictures?

It’s a trivial concern in the grand scheme of things, but since I got a smart phone several years ago and started snapping/clicking/pressing away, my phone–and then my laptop–has filled up with manymanymany shots of pretty much the same thing: my kids.

Specifically, kids in things–kids in hats, kids in face paint, kids in sports, kids in school plays. Since their birth, each iteration of the children doing something has been dutifully recorded and stored.

My digital pictures fall into three categories:

Smile!

1. The Forced Smile.

Our kids are sick of having their picture taken. I always have my “camera” with me and photos are not just for formal occasions anymore–like birthdays and the prom–as when we were kids. My kids are asked to pose all the time. If you individually try to stop the shutter happiness, you’re the bad guy. Ever been that one mom

High Flying Bingo Game

Queen Esther Wins Purim

Baby Sam asks: “What fresh hell is this?”

A Babysitter’s Guide to My Son

Babysitters Guide: Version 9 ½ weeks,

Install date: February 1, 2002           Standard Operating Procedures

Dear Babysitter:

My son’s a touchy feely tactile infant. Therefore do not put him down alone for longer than 15 minutes at a time. That means anywhere: his bed, his parent’s bed, in the car seat, the hammock, the bouncy chair, the living room sofa, etc.

Because just when you think he’s asleep, ha!, he’ll open one big blue eye and start the whole symphony again.

The one exception may be the swing, but make sure he’s wearing trousers so his legs can fit through the holes in the seat.

If you gently touch his scalp then lower your hand to his third eye he croons.

If you gently touch his earlobes then the side of his neck he’ll give you the biggest Cheshire cat smile you’ve ever seen.

He’s extremely emotive and expressive and

I live in a meme.

A Thousand Words

Amazing how kids can say exactly what they’re thinking without using a single word.

Instant Halloween Costume

He requested a $3 Goodwill tablecloth for Halloween–bingo: Halloween costume.

Happy Fourth of July

Give Them the Holiday Bird

A few years ago we had an interesting experience at a major chain portrait studio where we took our first holiday pictures as a family. The photographer made a grammatical error on our holiday cards, but the biggest surprise came when we were looking at the pictures. The only picture of my

Playing with the Light

I Swear I Didn’t Pose This

I only noticed the similarities after I took the picture!

I Vant to Suck Your Blood